Does ‘Vampire’s Assistant’ have teeth?
John C. Reilly stars in "The Vampire's Assistant." Image from Wikimedia.
“Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant” follows a very specific trend that has been quite lucrative for others, but might not prove to work out so well in this case. “The Vampires Assistant” is a film aimed at a teenage audience that is about vampires and based on a series of books.
“Twilight” has made a killing on book sales and movie ticket sales. At the U.S. box office, it pulled in a ridiculous $191 million. However, unless a film can make that kind of money on vampire themes alone, I double “The Vampire’s Assistant” will follow suit.
Forecast is moderate
Not that I would bet all my cash today on the fact that “The Vampire’s Assistant” reviews will make the movie a flop. I am sure it will pull in a big chunk of change before word spreads that the film doesn’t have a beginning, middle and end. At least if if James Berardinelli from ReelReviews can be trusted, that’s what people will be saying.
However, it’s no secret that “Twilight” made a lot of its movie money because of its sexy stars, and “The Vampire’s Assistant” has its share of teen eye candy. Will it be enough to carry the film to “Twilight”-level fame? Somehow, I doubt it. After all of the vampire-themed films and television shows that have come out recently, I think people are starting to get over it. CW’s new series “The Vampire Diaries” isn’t getting great ratings so far.
‘The Vampire’s Assistant’ reviews
Just to give you a taste of how scathing some of “The Vampire’s Assistant” reviews are, Stephen Witty of the Newark Star-Ledger says: “The movie has no sense of magic or fun; the characters never seem to have anything at stake. It’s just a lot of computer graphics and gleefully hamming-it-up actors.” Sounds like he’s out for blood.
He’s not the only one. The famous Roger Ebert says “It’s … a mess. The movie is shot through with curious disconnects. Often within a single sequence of events, we won’t know where we are, or how they’re related in space or time.”
